Conflict of Self - "I Am Second"

Many months ago I studied a series called “I am Second” that dealt with how as Christians, we often find it difficult to keep God in the number one spot in our hearts and minds. The following ideas are based on the “I am Second” series, but focus more on the “Conflict of Self” paradigm that often affects many of us.

We all have numerous different "identities" that help make up our overall sense of self: American citizen, soldier, politician, father/mother, son/daughter, professional athlete, college student, etc... As humans, we are very skilled at adapting to our environment. Depending on the circumstances of the situations that we are in, we adapt our actions and the behavior that we are expected to exhibit. We are essentially showcasing a different identity or “self” based on the social situation at the given time, this is termed “social role playing”. Each of our identities is really a different role that we exhibit, with the actions that we take being derived from our “self” at the time. Even though we all are different and therefore have different formulations of various identities/selves, there is one identity that is universal to all mankind: and that is being Children of God.

Now, as Christians, we all like to think that we constantly keep God as number one in our lives. We all like to believe that we are always thinking of Him first, and ourselves second. But let's face it, we are all human, and we are all prone to failure. We all find ourselves in situations where our identities are in conflict, and where our actions depend on who/what we make our first priority. And in reality, I have found it to be the case that we often push God further down the ladder of our consciousness and allow our own worldly identities to take priority. In any given situation, we have a worldly identity or “self” that we are conditioned to exhibit and that guides how we act. However, we also have the identity of being Children of God and Followers of Christ. In this conflict of self, we must choose to put one identity over the other, and let that influence our actions. A lot of the time, we are guilty of putting our worldly “self” as first priority before God; even though in reality, it is the Lord that should remain first in our hearts and minds because everything else is mere second in importance.

In order to clarify this idea, here's an example from my own life in which I am often guilty of not keeping the Lord as number one in my heart and mind. I am what you could consider as an assertive driver. I'm not an aggressive driver, but I am definitely assertive when I am behind the wheel. This means that I often exceed the posted speed limit by more than what is normally observed by the general public. When I see an open space or lane, I do my best to take charge and make the most out of the opportunity. Now you might be thinking to yourself: “what's the problem with that”? Well, here is where the Conflict of Self paradigm kicks in. God's law states to obey all of man's laws and to not take any action that endangers or brings harm to others. Sounds simple enough, right? Wrong. Let's break down the situation. If I am to keep God first in my heart and mind, then I therefore need to follow his law, and that is to also follow man's law. Well, when I am behind the wheel, that is much easier said than done. By being an assertive driver, I am not only breaking the law by speeding, I am also putting the lives of others at risk, and this is definitely not congruent with following the Lord's teachings. There are many times when I am driving that I find it extremely difficult to keep God first in my list of priorities. It is much too easy for me to assume the role of “assertive driver”, while at the same time pushing God further down the ladder of importance.

Now that we have covered the various aspects of the conflict of self, it is important to cover how to solve the situation. The big question is: How do we keep God first in our hearts and minds, and remember that we are merely second. Well, the answer is pretty simple and composed of two steps. The first step is to recognize the situations in which we are guilty of putting our own “selves” before God. Without realizing when it is happening, we have absolutely no hope of bringing about any change. The second step is to simply change our priorities. For by keeping God as number one in our hearts, everything else will be second, and our actions will therefore be noble and righteous. Now, I'll be honest, this is much easier said than done. However, that doesn't mean that we shouldn't try our best. If we try our hardest and yet still fail, the Lord will recognize our noble intentions and will forgive us through grace. So what's the moral of the story you ask? Well, it's simple: God is first, and we are all second. Simple as that. Done deal.